Updated: Jan 8, 2019
Domestic Violence Counselor Educator Aishia Deal Shares Red Flags For Abusive Relationships & More
Contributor - Ashton Horne
I got the chance to interview Aisha Deal who works as a Domestic Violence Educator Counselor.
In social media we always see relationship goals, but I wanted to explore the red flags we should be careful of before committing.
Be sure to also check out Aisha Deal's "Shit Women Think About Podcast" available now on iTunes!
First off, please introduce yourself to those who don't know you!
My name is Aishia Deal.
What inspired you to become a certified domestic violence educator counselor?
I’ve always had a passion for helping heal for as long as I can remember. I’ve been the black “Dear Abby” since high school lol. I needed to understand the worse place a person can be emotionally and physically in order to help people rebuild and restore. It doesn’t get any worse than domestic violence so that’s where I began my education.
What are some common red flags being in an abusive relationship?
Possessiveness for sure, control, jealousy etc. If you find yourself in a constant state of recovery. Recovering from an argument, recovering from a banded compliment or recovering from always having to prove you care. If you spend more time picking yourself up than you do on your feet that’s a huge red flag.
What is something most people are surprised by when it comes to learning about domestic violence?
Most people assume domestic violence has a face, gender, age or tax bracket and it doesn’t. It can happen to anybody at any time.
Do you believe someone who was once an abuser can change for the better? Do you believe they deserve forgiveness?
I do believe in rehabilitation. Domestic Violence is a learned behavior. It took time to become an abuser and it will require time and commitment to unlearn abusive behavior.
How often are men physically and verbally abused? Do you encounter a lot of men who have been abused?
Through social media I’ve met a lot of men that have and are currently being abused by their partners. 1 in 7 men will also be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
How tough is it hearing stories of domestic violence survivors?
It never gets easy. Although the names may change the stories remain the same.
What advice would you give someone who is in a domestic violence relationship but doesn't know how to get out or is too scared?
It’s so important to tell someone, I can’t stress that enough. Also, there’s a Domestic Violence hotline 1 800 799 3224 they’re able to find local resource centers and shelters in the area.
What defines a healthy relationship to you?
Peace, freedom to express yourself, trust, good communication, willingness to understand, friendship, no codependency, the ability to function on your own independent of your partner. A healthy relationship consists of two people continually growing together and as individuals.
So you have your own podcast titled "Shit Women Think About" on iTunes. What have you learned so far from this experience?
Sh*t Women Think About has been so well received.. The out pouring of love that I’ve received from men and woman have been overwhelming.
With that being said, I’ve learned that men and women are so angry and harbor lot resentment towards one another.
There’s an immense amount of work and forgiveness that needs to take place. I can’t promise to fix it 100% but I’m committed to doing my part to push the conversation forward and my podcast allows me the platform to do so.
What are your goals and upcoming ideas for your podcast episodes?
I have so many dope guests lined up already for 2019 so make sure you subscribe so you’re notified
Lastly any shoutouts you want to make?
S/o to 2018.. Thanks for the lessons.. 2019 I’m ready!